The 2006 Question 3 Prompt.
The goal was to write about how a country/rural setting influences the values of characters in any novel or play of the student's choice.
Student Essay #1
The thesis is framed nicely, and the student clearly takes a stand that in Jane Austen's Persuasion, the countryside conveys virtue, nurture, and peace. The only thing missing is that the student didn't say how she does this. There is no mention of DIDLS, no technique, only meaning. Even so, the essay is really well written. The student explains how the countryside has various profound effects on the character, Anne, using plot pieces. The graders gave this essay an 8, and gave no negative comments whatsoever in their grading. My guess is that the only reason it isn't a 9 is that all of her evidence was plot analysis, with no analysis of writing techniques. The fact that she got an 8 says that they must be a bit lenient with this if the rest of the essay is really solid, like this one. The concluding paragraph is nice and tidy, finishing strongly. I think that helps boost the score as well.
Student Essay #2
Throughout the entire essay, the student (probably a boy according to the beautiful handwriting that I have to tilt my head and squint to read) does not mention the author of the play. This student probably forgot who the author was, and it seems like that would be a big no-no for an AP exam. Also, he writes the title of the play as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and I find it unusual that he consistently chooses not to underline "The." As for his essay content, the student seems to lose track of the prompt, because he never actually ties the countryside to the values of the main character, Jack. Instead, he tells us about how confusing the plot of the play is and gives a summary of the story. At the end he states that the countryside was the "agent" of all the confusion. Confusion isn't a value, and he didn't really tie anything to the countryside other than it was the location that these events occurred in. Even his initial thesis is that the combination of city and country settings creates disorder and confusion in the play. That fails to answer the prompt, but then he doesn't even argue it very well anyway!
Student Essay #3
This essay is just awful. The student says that "nearly every bit of the novel may be attributed to setting," which is a bit overboard because the prompt only asks for setting in relation to developing values. The student describes the stream of consciousness style of William Faulkner's As I lay Dying, as well as states that it is written "in dialect." The student should've used the word colloquial probably, to tighten that up. But even so, those really aren't attributed to the countryside setting. This essay doesn't even argue that it is with any evidence. This student also wrote that Faulkner "knows all too well the backward ways of the South" and explains that some characters are only "so dumb" because they grew up in the South. Given that this student does not know the regional background of his/her graders, they probably shouldn't say things quite so generally. I love when this student writes "Then there is little Vardaman. He catches a fish. It dies. His mother dies. His mother is a fish." I'm guessing the writer is referring to the thought process of a child but they don't really say that. They just sort of spout nonsensical little sentences... Basically this whole essay gives examples of characters doing stupid things or believing stupid ideas, and blames it on the Southern setting. It is extremely far off base from the prompt and fails to explain the connection between ignorance and rural setting, or any other values / lack of values. Even the AP graders' response mentions how his statements about the American South are pretty offensive...
Mary,
ReplyDeleteYour responses are excellent! I love how you clearly address whether or not the student answered the prompt after providing clear evidence to back up your assertion. It is very interesting that despite the lack of recognizing DIDLS, that the first student essay got an 8. I think that because the analysis was so in depth, DIDLS was taken into account first and then the student shaped her analysis by combining all the techniques and effects. The second essay is just tragic and I really think that the student made it up as he went. Your response cited very specific pieces of the essay and recognized that a summary is exactly what not to write. The third essay, as you said, was awful. I cannot believe that the student would write such blatantly offensive things in his essay. His argument could have made sense, but because he generalized the South so horribly and failed to analyze; it’s no wonder he earned a low score. Once again, great responses, you show an understanding of what AP readers want to read and want to rip to shreds.
Mary,
ReplyDeleteThese are great analysis of these student responses. In the first essays description, you mention that the student did not use evidence of DIDLS and yet still received a 8. I was very surprised to read this, for I feel in class when we talk about the AP essay we often times focus on the significance of providing evidence on the use of rhetoric methods. That must’ve been a very well written essay if it was still able to receive such a high score without DIDLS. The second essay seems to be written by a very confused student, from your description of the essay it seems that student did not have a clear example in mind for the prompt and struggled to tie everything together. Lastly, the last essay sounds just horrific; it doesn’t seem to have any supportive evidence and doesn’t do a good job of answering the prompt. Overall you did a great job of analyzing those essays and did a good job of emphasizing what a AP grader is looking for in a good response.